Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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