so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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