we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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