Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
