just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Randomize
