u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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