its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
