It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
