I'm jealous of your bromance
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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