yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
