Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
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