Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
