Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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