wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
