I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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