I am in a vortex of obligation.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
