He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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