Sponge bath it is.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
