Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
You have to summon your inner elephant
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
