There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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