I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
