Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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