OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
