Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Randomize
