Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
