dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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