You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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