Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
