Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
