dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
