we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
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