Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
