Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
