He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
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