Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Randomize
