on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
