Too much gin, very little bucket
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
BRING THE BAGELS
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Randomize
