he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
