I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
