I can text with my tongue
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
