Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
