the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
