So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
