we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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