Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
