I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
