I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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