Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
