His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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