I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
im having a threesome with these popsicles
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
