Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
