I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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